The Church, A Story, and A Wedding

I need a place to spew all of my thoughts from this morning, so here goes nothing. I'm frustrated with the way my church as a whole seems to be operating right now, and the way it/they/we seem to have been operating for some time. In my limited perspective into the decisions made by leadership in the church, it appears that finances, politics, and a lack of love have infiltrated what should be a place for believers to gather, worship, and reach out to the community. Decisions continue to be made that seem to be not only unwise, but also ungodly, unloving, and inconsistent with how I believe Jesus-followers should act. Although I disagree with numerous changes that leaders in the church have made, I'd prefer to believe that these changes are being made with the best intentions. Even granting the leaders the best intentions, the way they are going about these changes is poorly reflecting God's exhortations of humility, kindness, and building one another up. And while I am attempting to keep myself from demonstrating a similar lack of grace to what I believe the church has been and is now demonstrating, I admit it is difficult to do so. I am trying, here, where my words are published and public, to present my thoughts in a humble and gracious way. (If I don't, my advice/rebuke/dissatisfaction merits being discounted.) I could continue on expressing my concerns and I dare say perhaps anger in more certain and expanded terms, but the real crux of the issue is this: they, we, the church, is missing something. I think we're missing out on living in the ocean of God's love. This morning the pastor who spoke touched on the fact that our actions should come from an overflow of God in our heart, not only affecting what we think and what we believe but also how we live our lives. So the most likely explanation, in my opinion, for church leadership visions gone awry and a seeming apparent lack of grace's and love's involvement in decisions towards others is a lack of God in people's hearts. If they/we/the church were/was so saturated to the point of overflowing with God in their/our hearts, then our lives would look radically different! This church would handle things differently, I am convinced, if its leaders were more filled with Christ. Before I am struck by lightning for what I just typed, let me share that MY own life would look radically different, I myself would handle things very differently, if I were more filled with Christ.

I suppose my conclusions about the problems with the church, specifically the one I attend here at home on Sunday mornings, are not earth-shattering or complicated. This church is making poor decisions and presenting a diminishing message of who God is for the very same reason I make poor decisions and misrepresent Him too--we are not being filled to the point of overflowing by God. Let me make myself clear, this is no fault of God's. I picture Him standing over each of us, poised with a jar of everything good--patience, kindness, goodness, love, humility, peace, forgiveness, etc.-- ready to pour Himself into our hearts. Yet we try to fill ourselves up with things other than Him, chasing after the false, the temporary, the ungodly. And it is the evidence of this that is shown when we fall short. When the church doesn't look like it is living out God's love, when church leaders act seemingly without grace, when I respond to God and others with selfishness--it is an indication of a lack of God inside our hearts.

In my last post I traveled through the manifold of emotions involved in running away from God, realizing that, and coming back to Him. I think we do this all the time, in small and big ways. But I promise I'm done being depressing now and I'm finished pointing out what is wrong. Just because we mess up majorly doesn't mean all is lost--this is not a performance, it's a relationship, and thankfully one that, because God is the other person in the relationship, entails never-ending amounts of mercy and grace! :) Now I want to talk about what it looks like when we do it right... how living in closeness with God can and should look.

This morning in church we sang a song that describes the gospel and the story of the world in a creative, beautiful way. The song is called "Holy (Wedding Day)" by The City Harmonic. To me, it expresses well how our lives should look. Can people tell what our story is all about from the way we are living our lives? Our story is about a holy God-groom who loves His people-bride; it is the story of a perfect God's loving rescue of His sinful people that culminates in a wedding-celebration; it is the story of God's kingdom coming to Earth, how He defeated death and how, in His power, we as His people are defeating death, too. Well here, I'll let the music say it better than I can :)

"This is the story of the Son of God
Hanging on the cross for me
But it ends with a bride and groom
And a wedding by a glassy sea
O death where is your sting
Cause I'll be there singing
Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord

This is the story of a bride in white
Waiting on her wedding day
Anticipation welling up inside
While the groom is crowned as king
O death where is your sting
Cause we'll be there singing
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord

Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty
Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
Who was and is and is to come

This is the story of the Son of God
Hanging on the cross for me
And it ends with a bride and groom
And a wedding by a glassy sea

This is the story of the a bride in white
Singing on her wedding day

Of the God who was and is to stand before a bride who sings
Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty"

I'm still figuring out exactly what it looks like to daily surrender myself to my loving God. I am continually learning that He is the only one who deserves my heart, that His love is the only thing that can fulfill me, and that I am happiest when I'm close to Him--because that's how He created me to live, in constant closeness to Him. I have every reason to follow Him wherever He leads me. He has proven His faithfulness and His goodness. He is a relentless Lover and a powerful King, both Servant and Savior. I think I've said this before, but I'll never run out of God to keep exploring. I think that the more I learn to open up and receive His love, letting Him pour Himself/goodness into my heart, the more that my life will reflect Him. The more time I spend getting to know Him, and just with Him, the more I'll resemble Him, and more goodness will flow through my thoughts, beliefs, and life. 

It sounds so simple and I know it's not. Well, maybe it is simple, just not easy. Definitely not easy. If it were easy, then I would have it down, my church leaders would have it down, and the church throughout the world would be a better picture of God's love. But the mess and the beauty of the situation is that God chose His bride to be a people who are broken and in need of Him everyday. So this won't be a one chapter kind of story... this is an epic journey, a forever story, filled with battles and banquets, wounds and worship, all. The plus side is that we know how the story ends. It ends in us being united with God--His love wins in the end, and death is defeated and we are saved! I don't think we need to wait until then to keep learning how to better love God back. 

I suppose this is like a continuation of my last post... when you get frustrated with yourself, your church, the church as whole, it's okay and it's good and it's necessary to figure out what is going wrong. Are you running away from God? Are you trying to fill yourself up with things other than Him? Are you letting His love flow through you and into each of your decisions? Once you've asked hard questions and confronted issues as you come back to God from whatever state you have found yourself in, take a deep breath and know that this is not the end of the story. Realize that God loves us in all of our failure and plans to keep loving us forever. Realize that this is the story "Of the God who was and is to stand before a bride who sings... Holy Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty"! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3oLqAmXc-c Holy (Wedding Day) by The City Harmonic