As soon as I stepped outside, I was struck by the brilliance of the sunshine, the coolness of the breeze, and the beauty of the vibrantly colored plants lining both sides of the road. I started to take deeper breaths and to smile, for no real reason other than enjoying the sights and sounds of the nature surrounding me. The further I walked the more I realized how negative a view I have had the past few days. How critical I have been of myself, refusing to rest in the fact that like all of the beauty around me, I was designed and created by an intelligent and loving God.
Positive thoughts started to flood into my mind... I was created, not an accident. I am flawed, yes, but I was designed by the same God who designed the trees and flowers I was stopping to take pictures of! Although I can't see why He would create me with the ability to make mistakes and hurt others, He must have a reason; my current state has surely not exempted me from His master plan. I am like a small tree, which has yet to grow into all it was designed to be. But there is no shame in growth...and a small tree is no less valuable because it has not yet become all that it was made to become. Some things just take time.
As I looked around at the trees, their beauty captivated me. No single tree was perfect. Some were bent at odd angles, some had dying leaves. But together, the trees created a canopy of sorts over the road. As the light streamed through their branches, the sunshine caught differently on each leaf, casting a kaleidoscope of light and dark shapes on the road below.
It was this kaleidoscope from the leaves that lent me some much needed perspective on life. I was never meant to reflect all of God's character in and of myself. Yes, I am meant to be a picture of Him, to reflect pieces of His heart, to love with His love and to hold His light within myself like a jar of clay, that through me, others may see Him. But never can I fully represent Him. I am not His mirror, I am one piece in a grand masterpiece of all creation, which is His glory. He designed me, and all of us, in our human frailty that TOGETHER we might make a full picture of His goodness. We are meant for communal beauty, for a group portrait. The places where I am bent, where my leaves are not in full bloom, that's where the other trees in the forest, those around me, are meant to complete the picture.
Should I stop growing and blooming? Certainly not. But I can stop fretting about my incomplete beauty. The pressure is off for me to be a perfect picture of all of God's goodness. Let me focus on those aspects of myself that God has designed to reflect Himself, to soak up the sun and the rain to grow those parts of myself that are not yet all I was designed to be, and to release myself from the responsibility to be the whole forest. What is the saying, sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees? I have been too focused on my own tree, unable to appreciate the beauty of my part in the forest around me.
Have you ever put pressure on yourself to be perfect? Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself? Of those around you?
Take a deep breath, and look at the trees, look at the forest. Watch how the sunlight catches on their leaves, and how together, they are a breathtaking testament to the goodness of God. May we acknowledge God's design... His design that we might collectively reflect the beauty of who He is.
