The past four years have certainly been some of the best, and also some of the hardest, of my life thus far. So many superlatives can be applied to my time here at Penn State... so many mosts, so many firsts, so many bests.
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| Going to miss this view. |
I've always been blessed with great friends through each part of my life, but these past four years I've had the biggest number of people in my life that I can truly count on that I've ever had-the most people who I could call at 3 AM, the most people reaching out to me to spend time with me, the most great quality friendships with girls and guys I've ever had. I've shared things about myself-hopes, fears, dreams, experiences-with some of my friends here that I hadn't shared with friends before, and was able to receive the same from them as well.
There have been superlatives that aren't so serious, too. Like finally giving in to the trend of wearing leggings as pants (I know, *groan*) for the first time in the cold, busy Fall semester of my senior year. I was holding out so well, but they were just so comfy and warm. Oh well. :P Or trying alcohol for the first time this past summer when I turned 21 (spoiler alert for anyone under 21, it's not THAT exciting). And despite having had almost a year to get used to it, I'm still not a fan of anything that actually tastes like it has alcohol in it. Orange soda is cheaper and still yummy, and I'll probably always lean towards "girly drinks."
I went to see an R rated movie in theaters for this first time this past year (wow this list is sounding scandalous in the middle here). It was some comedy about weddings that my roommates wanted to see and I really liked the popcorn and enjoyed spending time with them but wouldn't watch it again, which is pretty much what I anticipated.
I got my first lease on a car this past summer, woohoo!, and drove farther and longer than I ever did before this past year as I drove to grad school interviews (also obviously a first).
This past year I moved into an apartment where I pay rent and utilities and cook my own food (most of the time), for the first time. It was a great change from living on campus-despite the long walk to campus, the faulty oven/microwave/toilet/shower/refrigerator, general lack of space, glitchy internet, etc.- it's been so great to burn a candle or bake banana bread or have room for friends in your living room whenever you want. Living with three other girls in a pretty small apartment has certainly brought it's challenges, but overall been pretty much the "life experience" I wanted it to be.
Within the past four years I experienced my first serious dating relationship, as well as my first serious break-up. I also had my first kiss, which was long deliberated over, actually pretty nice and not as awkward as some first kiss stories I've heard, haha! I learned a ton about relationships and love and myself and others. I definitely made some mistakes, but I can't say that I regret a whole lot, because of all the lessons I learned and how it all influenced where and who I am today.
I sang solos in a choir for the first time, and had a blast doing it. (RIP Grace Notes, may you be revived in the future!)
I took classes in subjects I had never learned about in much depth before, like astronomy, biological anthropology, the history of jazz music, geology, and sociology (shout out to gen ed requirements). I strongly disliked some (*coughBioAnthcough*) because I didn't find them very interesting, but really enjoyed others!
I successfully completed an undergraduate thesis research project for the first time (though it was looking dubious towards the end there, it really did come together!). It was during the last two weeks before it was due that while under a lot of stress I felt overwhelmingly supported by so many lovely people in my life, and saw some divine intervention in bringing details together for the project. And on the research topic, although I'm still not looking to dedicate my entire life to research, I'm finding that I don't hate it and some of it is actually super cool and I'm even looking for a job in research right now to get more experience before reapplying grad school. (Yep, didn't get in. Yep, it's competitive. And yep, I'm okay with it and sure it'll all work out :). )
Starting my sophomore year of college I encountered discipleship for the first time through the Navigators, which is really just a fancy Christian word for mentorship with a spiritual focus, and I totally loved it and gained so much from it. It led me to want to disciple other girls, which has also been such a blast. I also led a Bible study with two of my best friends for the first time in my life, which was another wonderful, challenging, and fun experience.
In keeping with the spiritual trend, I got baptized for the first time in my life while here at Penn State. Freshman year I was lucky enough (probably actually led) to find a great faith community in New Hope Church here in State College- a church that loves kids, college students, and people of all ages, loves meeting the needs of and caring for those around them and around the world, and loves food and games and worship and everything else good. I finally felt really comfortable in a faith community, enough that it felt right to be baptized by a pastor who knew me personally and could attest to the evidence of God's work in my life, in front of a church who knew the same. I'm so grateful for them :)
I recently attended my first "peer" wedding (woot woot Megan and Mike!), which I'm sure will be the first of many in the years to come. :)
[And I'm sure there are even more mosts, firsts, and bests that I forgot to (or choose not to!) include here!]
There are a lot of things that I'm going to miss about being an undergraduate student at Penn State. I'll miss the long walks from my apartment to campus or even just from one part of town/campus to another, no matter how much I have complained about them at times. They've given me time to think and breathe and listen to music in the midst of a busy season of life, and this campus and this town are so beautiful, especially in the Fall and Spring (and for a few weeks in the winter, until we all get sick of SO MUCH snow). I'm going to miss seeing the mountains in the background when I walk around State College. I'll miss walking past Old Main with it's lights on at night (see above photo!), or walking through the HUB and running into a friend, or really just running into friends all over campus and downtown. I'm going to miss living so close to so many friends. I know that while I'll stay in touch with some of the friends I've made here, it's going to take a lot more planning and intention to actually see them in the next stage of life. I'll miss our Friday night movie nights/hang outs, the late nights and quality time and deep talks and inside jokes. I'm so going to miss meeting up with Emma and getting to hear about her life over smoothies in Redifer every Thursday morning. I'm going to miss the guidance from Melanie and other Navs staff members who have supported all of us Navigators over the past few years in our walks with God. I know I'll miss Navs retreats with things like California Co-Ed Kickball (oh, there's another first)! I'll miss running to Au Bon Pain from my lab to get a MTO southwest salad or whatever delicious soup options they have that day. I might even miss spending hours in the lab, plodding through files in the peace and quiet of the second floor of Moore. I'll miss the tea at Cafe, the fishbowls at Bar Blue, the incredible breakfast at the Waffle Shop, Berkey creamery ice cream, the cheesesteak egg rolls at Kildare's, the falafel wraps from Penn Kebab, and all the other awesome food establishments I've gotten to enjoy with friends and family here over the past four years. I think I'll miss going to class, as nerdy as that sounds, and getting to just sit there and soak in ideas and information that's new to me. I am definitely going to miss some of the incredible professors I've gotten to learn from in both the Psych and CAS departments here. I'm going to miss Sunday mornings at New Hope, teaching the kiddos about God and worshipping with friends and families at church. I'll miss being "poor" in a socially acceptable way, haha (saw that online the other day, and it struck me as both a bit funny and also sad). I'll miss getting to use Penn State's awesome gym facilities with my student gym membership price (even though I didn't go super regularly, haha). I'm going to miss the arboretum, meeting new people my age all the time, signing up for interesting classes every semester, the grand sense of possibility about the future, and this stage of life.
Most of all, I'm going to miss the people that became a part of, or bigger part of, my life as a result of my time here, the people who have contributed so much to my life over the past few years. And I'll probably miss a million other things that I haven't even thought about missing yet.
I don't yet know when I'll be leaving State College (I've applied to a job here), but I know that even if I am here after I graduate, it won't be the same. I don't yet know what the next few years, heck even few weeks, of my life are going to look like, or what state I might be living in depending on the outcome of job applications. I don't yet know the details of God's plan for me. And that's exciting, and also a little scary. The comforting thing is that while I haven't learned a whole lot (YET) about where He is going to lead me in the future, I have learned a lot about who He is. My life experiences of the past four years have both shaken and then confirmed my belief in the goodness of God, and my trust in Him to provide and care for me. I'm confident that soon He will show me which doors are open or closed and guide me to the right opportunities. It probably won't sink in for a little while yet that this chapter in my life is coming to a close, but I'm thankful for the crazy ride it's been. To all the people who have been a part of my life in these past four years in some way- thank you! :)
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| Best friends. |
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| Hail to the lion! |
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| "Thou didst mold us dear old state, dear old state, dear old state!" |
